Tag Archives: Resolutions

Stop Stressing and Be More Confident with Your Life in 2020!

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New Year’s Day, and I can’t believe it took me most of the day just to get the drawers and cabinets in my bathroom cleaned out and organized. Sure, I took a few texting and email breaks, and spent over an hour on the phone catching up with one of my BFFs! But I still did not expect it to take so long. Nor did I anticipate how much junk – outdated, expired, and almost empty containers of junk that was just shoved in the back of my cabinets and drawers.

I know I’m not the only one. I also know that one of the reasons people like me, and most likely you, put off taking on the chore of cleaning and organizing our homes, and even our lives, is because it all just seems so overwhelming.  This time of year often makes it even more daunting. So many “experts” on morning talk shows, columnists in newspapers, magazine articles, all talking about the many things we should be doing – personally and professionally — in order to be a “better person” and have a better year.

woman-lifting-two-dumbells-on-both-hands-in-front-of-mirror-1886487Get physically fit. Get healthier. Get financially secure. Get the house cleaned and organized. Travel more. Read the Bible in a year. Join a book club. Plant an organic garden. Raise chickens. And on and on and on. I mean who wouldn’t feel overwhelmed a bit; and confused about where to get started, and how to make most of it happen?!

When my sister shared a social media post titled 30 Challenges for 30 Days, asking me to join her in it, I replied within a split second — “NOPE!” The subtext of the headline noted: “That Will Make You a Better Person.” That extra message probably set me off more than the title. I don’t need to compete with someone, trying to accomplish so many things at the same time, all within some arbitrary time period, to prove I’m a better person! And I think that’s the trap we often fall into every year.

I am definitely a believer in doing things to make your life, your family, your home, and yourself better. But what those things are will be different for each person. And the priority of what’s most important to you now, versus what can wait, will differ. I mean I love pulling open my top bathroom drawer now and seeing how neat everything looks. I love finding what I need on sight; not having to shuffle a bunch of junk around, or getting ready to use some medical or cosmetic cream, only to find out that it expired six months earlier. But maybe your drawers are already organized the way you want them.

I decided early on that rather than trying to take a lot of things on at once, as if it wouldgold-ipad-beside-stylus-768473 even be possible to complete all of the things I need to do, while shopping better, eating better, working out every day, going to bed on time, and getting my budget in order, etc. etc. – you know the drill – I would instead choose tiny projects, like the bathroom cabinets, and just work on it until it was done (no pressured time limits) before moving on to the next one.

So, in preparing for and thinking about my life in 2020, I broke things down into four major areas:

  1. Personal Life
  2. Home Life
  3. Financial Life
  4. Professional Life

It feels much better to think about changes and improvements I can make to FOUR areas in my life, rather than trying to work on 30 or 40 different things at the same time! Obviously, each one of the areas have subparts to them. But keeping my focus on the big picture helps me to plan better on how to attack something in each one.

For the next few weeks, I’m going to be sharing some of the things I’ve done, and how I’m choosing to tackle them in my own life, project by project – baby steps to success. Some may be things you’re already doing, or there might be some things that inspire you to try to accomplish. Other things may be of no interest to you whatsoever. But the cool thing about a new year, and our efforts to make a new start, is that we each should start with looking at our own lives, and apply only those things that impact you directly. If it’s not something that’s at the top of your list; don’t do it.

By the way, on day two of the new year, I spent time tackling the desk in my bedroom. It’s not an “office” desk, where I do work. It’s a desk that I use to write notes, letters, journal, read, and occasionally, work on my blog. The problem was, like an unused piece of exercise equipment, my desk had become the place to toss things I didn’t want to deal with, file away; a convenient landing site for whatever! Getting through all of the desk drawers and cleaning off the top of the desk really made my day. No one’s going to see it except for me. But that’s the whole reason I did it. For me! And that should be your motivation as well.

What will make you and your life easier, happier, and more convenient? Go for it!

Why Just Setting Goals Isn’t Enough

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So you’re putting together a plan for 2019? You’ve outlined some goals you’d like to accomplish. Let’s talk about why just setting goals isn’t enough.

Creating goals is actually the easy part. Reaching them is much harder! Even if we’re not one to make a list of resolutions, or journal a year’s worth of goals, most people have things they strive to do better; a level of success they want to attain; bad habits they vow to break, or good ones they want to make. And many people re-evaluate where they are with all of that at least once or twice a year.

No matter how you set your goals, they are little more than mere dreams if you don’t provide ways in which you plan to accomplish them; outline the things you need to do to make them happen. Which is one of the reasons why goals should be specific. 

I share this idea a lot with my students. I tell them, if their goal is to graduate college, and they do little else other than state those goals, or even write them down, then they’re not likely going to accomplish them without many hurdles. Why? Because if all we do is to state what we want to do, and don’t outline a plan, or create strategies on how we’re going to get it, then one day we wake up from that dream, still struggling to reached that goal.

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For instance, it’s not enough for students to say, when asked, that they want to graduate from college. They need to go a step further and outline what strategies they plan to put in place to help make that goal a reality. They must know which courses in their major they need to register for. They must strategize their study habits, class attendance, and know what they need to do to have success on their assignments so that they receive passing grades in each class.

If a woman lists among her goals that she’d like to run a marathon, but doesn’t outline a running plan; doesn’t research and follow an eating plan; doesn’t make a point of purchasing the right kind of running shoes to train in, she will likely not succeed with that goal. Another year will pass and she’ll simply tell herself that she wasn’t able to do it, when in reality it wasn’t that she couldn’t do to, but that she didn’t make a plan to do it!

What is the saying? “If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail.”

So how do you avoid letting time pass you by — again — staring at the same old list of goals you didn’t reach — again?

First, write your goals down. Be detailed with them. Don’t say you want to lose weight in 2019. Because if you only lose one pound, then you technically accomplished your goal to lose weight. Say instead how much weight you plan to lose. But keep your goals realistic.

Second, create strategies for each goal. Again, if your goal is to lose weight, then one strategy might be to find a diet plan you like and start following it. Another strategy for that same goal might be to start exercising. You might have a strategy to join a gym, or hire a personal trainer, or purchase home gym equipment.

And third, it’s not enough to write your goals down, or create strategies for them. You need to also establish a timeline.

Let’s go back to the graduation goal. Most students don’t come in as freshmen and say “I want to take at least 10 years to complete my undergraduate degree.” The majority of them start off with the four-year plan in mind. If you say your goal is simply to graduate college, and it takes you 20 years to do so, then, again, technically you’ve accomplished your goal. But perhaps not in the time period that was part of the original plan. If your goal, instead, is to graduate college in four years, then your strategies would be built around what it takes to reach that goal within your timeline. So you would set the specific strategies based upon when you want to accomplish it. Your strategies might involve taking the right courses, attending class, keeping up with the assignments, studying for tests, and anything else that’s involved with successfully passing each class and moving on to the next level each year so that you are finished within your four year plan.

So if you want to run a marathon, that’s great! Write down when? Determine where? Ask yourself is what you’re wanting to do realistic? If you’ve never run before, trying to train for a marathon that’s four weeks away would be seen by most as unrealistic. Whereas starting to train in January for an October race might be a more realistic goal. With a timeline in place, your strategies should be designed to support getting you to that goal.

But even strategies need a help. They require tactics, your specific “to-do” list, to help keep you on track.